I worked at an internet service/software company for nearly 7 years during my late teens and early 20s. One night, a colleague invited me for a drink, but I was tired and declined. The next day, he didn’t show up at the office, and the company director informed us that he hadn’t informed anyone about not coming in, which was unusual. Around the same time, I noticed some peculiar changes in his behaviour, such as not taking showers and keeping his contact lenses on continuously (you supposed to use like this).
He mentioned leaving his house key in his desk drawer after renting an apartment near the office. My boss and I retrieved the key and went straight to his apartment. I vividly remember the inside of his apartment – it was filled with rubbish; we couldn’t see the floor. The smell was unbearable, with rotten food and mold-covered drinks. As we walked through the kitchen, we found a Futon covered in blood in the living room; our face was dropped we were thinking we may find him as not arrive. We checked the bathroom but found it empty, except for a horizontal line of splashed blood on the wall. In response, my boss called the police.
I blamed myself for not going for a drink with him the day before he tried to take his own life, but I wasn’t sure how I could have helped him. I thought he might have resented me for not reaching out to him during his difficult times. Eventually, I experienced depression myself.
During that time, I wanted to disappear, questioning my existence in this world. I began cutting myself, but the thought of causing my mother the same sorrow I was experiencing prevented me from taking more drastic actions. It made me wonder why so many people become suicidal.
Knowledge would help people around you
I was watching the news about the statistics of people dying from suicide, and despite living in the most technologically advanced era, the numbers have not decreased. The discussion revolved around the possible role of social media in encouraging such actions, as individuals can freely express their feelings, leading to a sense of commonality, particularly among the younger generation. Specialists from organisations dedicated to helping such individuals mentioned two key factors contributing to suicidal tendencies: perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness.
It dawned on me that I had a sense of belongingness with my mom. When I felt the urge to disappear from this world, her presence prevented me from taking any drastic actions. The news highlighted the importance of addressing these factors for those struggling. If you are aware that someone is going through a tough time, you can simply express that you enjoy their company, express a desire to meet up again, or convey how much they’ve helped you. This can prevent them from feeling a sense of perceived burdensomeness and thwarted belongingness.
Do not blame yourself if you couldn’t provide assistance
Please remember that there are various reasons why people commit suicide. According to Dr. Thomas E. Joiner, individuals need both the capability and the intention to attempt suicide. If you are interested, you can find more information in the link below:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3130348/(National Library of Medicine)
If you have suicidal thoughts, please contact this organisation
There is nothing to hesitate about when asking for help. At some point in their lives, including myself, people have had these thoughts in their minds. I believe that if I had asked for help, the dark and difficult times would have ended sooner.
Support line in UK: https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/suicide/
If you are interested in Dr. Thomas E. Joiner’s research, there are his books:
Myths about Suicide: https://amzn.to/42L17ss (Amazon UK)
Suicide Science: Expanding the Boundaries: https://amzn.to/49negdB (Amazon UK)
Why People Die by Suicide: https://amzn.to/3wqhKxu (Amazon UK)